Neumann reported his car accident

Despite being a notoriously bad driver, he nonetheless enjoyed driving (frequently while reading a book) - occasioning numerous arrests as well as accidents. He reported one of his car accidents in this way: "I was proceeding down the road. The trees on the right were passing me in orderly fashion at 60 miles per hour. Suddenly one of them stepped in my path." (The von Neumanns would return to Princeton at the beginning of each academic year with a new car.)

Arbitrary parameters

With four parameters, I can fit an elephant, and with five, I can make him wiggle his trunk. -- Johnny von Neumann.